Trust

It is easy to become overwhelmed when we look at our own resources and think, "How will be ever be able to do this?" Let's face it, very few people have not been impacted by the current economic crisis. My wife recently lamented, "I wish money were not such a big issue." It seems every time we are just about to get ahead, something breaks, something needs repaired, the kids have grown again and their clothes are too small, or simply the costs of everyday necessities keep increasing. What are we to do? So often, I will look at the checking account balance and think, "How am I going to pay the bills?" or "Where am I going to get the money for this?" I begin to rely solely upon myself. I begin to worry. I become irritable. I lash out. This has often been the pattern that I followed and I have been wrong.

Recently my wife and I rented the movie Flywheel, which is put out by the same group that released Fireproof. It was Sherwood Pictures' first full length film. Sherwood Pictures gives the following synopsis of the film:

Jay Austin wants to sell used cars in the worst way ... and that's exactly how he does business at his dealership. Promising much more than he can ever deliver, he'll do whatever it takes to sell a car. His manipulative ways permeate all of his relationships—even his wife and son know they can't trust him.

But as Jay works on restoring a classic convertible, he begins to see that God is working on restoring him as well. Coming face-to-face with the reality of how he truly conducts himself, Jay Austin begins the ride of his life as he commits to honoring God with his business, his relationships, and his life!

At the turning point of Jay's life a verse comes alive for him. It is from Proverbs 3:5, 6. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take." (NLT)

I have thought about this verse quite a bit over the past several weeks. The more I think about it, the more I realize just how difficult this verse is to put into practice. After all I am a man, and men like to fix things, well I should say attempt to fix things. One thing I have learned over my almost ten years of marriage is that I can not fix my wife. The main reason being she ain't broke. But men are like this, if something is broken and needs to be fixed, we want to fix it. Sometimes when I have attempted this it ends up being broken even more and in a bigger mess than had I left it alone.

Finances are big thing with me. I worry about them. I used to get upset when something went wrong with the car or we needed to replace a worn out item. But now this verse comes to mind, and it is as if God is asking me, "Jeff, do you trust me?" The hard part is answering this honestly, because God doesn't just want to hear me say "Yes Lord, I trust You." He wants to see it in how I respond. He wants to know I trust Him with all of my heart, not just the part I want to give Him. He wants me to depend upon Him fully without any reservation. So many times it is so easy to try to depend upon my own finite understanding.

The hard part for me is putting away my own understanding, my own fears, my own worries and my own solutions. It is when I put all of this aside and ignore all the paths that I have made up on my own and decide to follow the path God has prepared for me, that I can receive His divine providence.

So when difficult times come, give it all over to God. Trust in Him completely and He will show the way out. Scripture does not guarantee an easy path or an instant solution. It may require hard work and diligence on our part, but God will see us through. He will provide the strength we need to persevere.

Flood

Sorry I haven't written anything recently, but it has kind of been a dry spell as far as creative writing goes. That is until last night. It was somewhat eventful, but not as bad a it could have been I suppose. However, I have learned one thing: That the words "Urgent" and "Care" should not be allowed to be used together. I also learned something else, but more to that later.

I received an email from my wife about 6:00 last night while I was at work. She stated that she was back from her walk and had fallen and hurt her knee. I immediately called her and while her words downplayed the seriousness of the matter, her tone of voice revealed the broader scope of the situation. I told her I would be right home to look at it (one of the great things about living one mile away from work). As soon I as I saw her I could tell she was in a great deal of pain. Looking at her knee I knew we needed to have it looked at by a doctor. I then announced we were going to the ER or Urgent Care. I looked up the info on the Urgent Care center and saw they were still open so I said let's go. Leaving home the car began to run rough while stopped at red lights. Then the check engine light came on. I thought, "Ok, what else can go wrong?" We made it to Urgent Care just fine. All said we were there for about four hours.

Four hours to think and pray, think some more, play some games on my cell phone, pray, watch people, make jokes about "urgent care," pray some more. But not once did I worry. Now, I am about to let you into a secret room of my life (those of you who know me well already know this about me), but I tend to worry about financial matters. Typically, I would be thinking, "Ok, this is going to be expensive, and the car too. This is great, just great. Not just one thing but now two..." I just kept saying over and over "I trust you Father, I trust you. You will provide, you will get us through this." Then God slowly began to show us that He would take care of us.

Turns out Emily only has deep bruising of the ligament in the knee, and not a broken knee cap. It will still take some time to heal, but she'll do ok. We are praying for a speedy recovery. The car is going to be fine too. The car ran just fine on the way home, but the check engine light was still on. However, after bringing Emily home, I had to go back out to get her perscription. When I started the car the check engine light did not stay on. God is good. And yes, He did take care of us.

One of the lighter things to come from this is that the song playing on Emily's mp3 player when she went down was "Flood" by Jars of Clay. Even more so, the line she remembers playing at the particular moment was "Lift me up so high, that I cannot fall, lift me up." Ironic, coincidental, weird? Yeah, maybe.

I think The Message sums up Matthew 6:34 the best:

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Typically, I would get all worked up thinking what is going to happen next? How much are the bills going to be? How much is the car going to cost to repair? What about this? What about that? Worry, worry, worry. What happened was a life lesson from my heavenly Daddy. He was asking, "Do you trust me?"

Yes, Dad, I trust you! Thank you.